Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-7810 (?)
- SCP-7810 is a 175-chapter non-fiction book titled "Ducks. Ducks? Geese? GEESE! SWANS!?!?" that, when its chapters are read, causes various anomalous bird species, often with strange or dangerous properties, to appear in reality. The first 174 chapters describe different duck and goose species, and reading about them manifests them, sometimes with unusual behaviors like wooden ducks that float despite their density, or geese that manifest a Boeing 747. The final chapter, however, describes a powerful goddess-like entity named Doland, who has green feathery hair, swan-like features, and goose-like aggression. Reading this last chapter causes Doland to appear, and anyone who sees her and doesn't praise her is slowly turned into a bird over several days, while the person who summoned her is embraced by her wings and transformed into a new anomalous bird, adding a new chapter to the book. Containment involves confiscating copies, prohibiting reading without approval, and housing the manifested birds in appropriate habitats.
- Jakob Maria Mierscheid (?)
- Jakob Maria Mierscheid is a fictional politician who has been an alleged member of the German Bundestag since December 11, 1979. Created by two SPD members of parliament, he has a detailed, albeit fabricated, biography, including a birth date, constituency, and even a "Mierscheid Law" correlating SPD election results with West German steel production. Despite being a hoax, Mierscheid is a widely known curiosity within the Bundestag, with an official biography and photograph on the Bundestag website, his own stationery, email address, and even a pedestrian bridge named after him.